Dear Mr. Schwan Man

The Schwan Man visited our house today. His real title is " Route Sales Representative," but he calls himself Schwan Man. In fact, "Schwan Man" is his greeting, sales pitch, and sales closing. When I opened the door, he only said those two words, and left them hanging in the air, allowing me to interpret his objective as he stared at the porch below his feet. Even a smile would have helped him. 

I wonder if Schwan trains their reps. This is the job description:

   "As a Route Sales Representative, you will drive the widely 

    recognized SCHWAN’S truck to sell and deliver more than 

    300 varieties of frozen foods to families around the area. Your 

    drive and ambition can go a long way toward your ability to 

    meet the needs of current customers, secure new customers, 

    and in defining what you earn through the real earning potential 

    of sales commissions."

I assumed he earns some sort of commission, but perhaps not. Covered are his medical, dental, and even tuition (are they hoping he'll start training to be an accountant because they can't believe he will stick to his "Route Sales Representative" job long term?) and some other goodies. The recruiting literature seems to indicate they try to recruit people who want safety.

If the company had trained and motivated him, perhaps our rep would have said, "I'm your Schwan Man, and I am here to fill your freezer with things that bring joy, such as this week's special..." But they didn't, so he didn't. 

We still ordered a few things, but we still have space in our freezer.