Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Dear Mr. Schwan Man

The Schwan Man visited our house today. His real title is " Route Sales Representative," but he calls himself Schwan Man. In fact, "Schwan Man" is his greeting, sales pitch, and sales closing. When I opened the door, he only said those two words, and left them hanging in the air, allowing me to interpret his objective as he stared at the porch below his feet. Even a smile would have helped him. 

I wonder if Schwan trains their reps. This is the job description:

   "As a Route Sales Representative, you will drive the widely 
    recognized SCHWAN’S truck to sell and deliver more than 
    300 varieties of frozen foods to families around the area. Your 
    drive and ambition can go a long way toward your ability to 
    meet the needs of current customers, secure new customers, 
    and in defining what you earn through the real earning potential 
    of sales commissions."

I assumed he earns some sort of commission, but perhaps not. Covered are his medical, dental, and even tuition (are they hoping he'll start training to be an accountant because they can't believe he will stick to his "Route Sales Representative" job long term?) and some other goodies. The recruiting literature seems to indicate they try to recruit people who want safety.

If the company had trained and motivated him, perhaps our rep would have said, "I'm your Schwan Man, and I am here to fill your freezer with things that bring joy, such as this week's special..." But they didn't, so he didn't. 

We still ordered a few things, but we still have space in our freezer.

1 comment:

Gina said...

I love food.
You are funny and I love you too... not just because you are funny though. But that has brought me joy in my life.
I have a no soliciting sign on my door, but that does not stop the salesmen. I even pointed it out to one, and he said, it would have to be a lot bigger for it to stop him.